The Difference between Coaching and Therapy
Here’s a secret — I used to think coaching was bullshit. But guess what? That was years ago before I ever had worked with a coach. Here’s another secret, I used to think therapy was bullshit. Guess what? Yes, you guessed it, that was before I gave therapy a real chance (and found the right therapists/therapies).
Now, after working with multiple therapists, models of therapy, and coaches over the past eight years I can safely say there is no reason to compare the two as they serve a completely different purpose. Now that’s not to say they can’t produce similar desired outcomes, but the reason one goes to a therapist vs a coach should not be the same in my opinion.
Key Differences
Very simply, for me, it’s a matter of tenses. Therapy is for going backwards (past tense) so you can (hopefully) go forward, and coaching is going forward (future tense) so you can go further. A coach is not qualified to deal with your childhood trauma, even if they read one of Gabor Mate’s books. Trauma and early brain development are highly complex and the variables that contribute to someone’s mental health are far too vast for someone with only coaching training to tackle.
Therapy to me is for healing, and coaching is for clarity, goals and action. After every coaching session there should be momentum, between every coaching session there should be action, and there should be goals achieved as an impact of a coaching engagement.
I wouldn’t attempt to compare their overall effectiveness as they serve different purposes, however, I do see that often people bring the things to coaching that belong in therapy and vice versa. What I will say is that certain things that people go to therapy for can sometimes take years and years to get any real traction on, and should rather be done in a coaching framework, and vice versa. Therapy takes time, a lot of it. And if you go to a therapist to achieve a certain outcome in your life, expect it to take up to many years to achieve. That doesn’t mean you go to a coach to deal with your baggage or traumas. Those are past tense.
I read somewhere that therapy is for mental illness and coaching is for mental fitness, which I tend to agree with. The only thing I would add is that not all trauma causes mental illness, however, trauma should be addressed by therapy (see my resource on that here). Outside of trauma, if you want to pay someone to talk through things, a therapist is a great ear to have, and some therapists have great insight to share. Again, it depends what you are looking for.
Similarities
While they may serve different purposes, there are certainly overlapping elements. I would be hesitant to get too specific here due to the broadness of both coaching niches and therapy types, however, what I will say is this — they share the common purpose of self-betterment, deeper self-understanding, and the ultimate; self-actualization. They share the process of client-centred enquiry, empathy, and empowerment. They also share the process of trying to get you to a self-inspired solution as opposed to something like consulting which is more of a “just tell me what to do” engagement.
They hold a similar type of ‘space’ — one that is free from judgement, and one that enables you to be your full self and wear no masks. For that is the only way to truly achieve behavioural change and personal growth.
“99% of individuals and companies who hire a coach are “satisfied or very satisfied” and 96% say they would repeat the process”. (ICF Global Coaching Client Study)
Bustin’ myths for people who are new to coaching:
It’s got nothing to do with needing help.
I don’t think high-powered executives with big egos would all have coaches if it was a sign of weakness or even that they needed support. Coaching is simply the most efficient way to get to solutions and growth faster. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you if you hire a coach. It means the very opposite. We all have natural biases, we are all operating from our own conscious mind, and cannot see alternative perspectives in real-time. We all could use enhanced clarity whether it be in our personal or professional lives. And we all benefit from systems and processes to achieve outcomes.
Not all coaching is ‘Life Coaching’
What is even ‘life coaching’? The only person I would hire as my entire life coach would be a happy and healthy 95-year-old who lived the exact type of life I wanted to live. Coaches all have unique areas where they have a unique set of skills and experience in addition to their coaching skills, which they may use, but coaching is a process that is generically designed to help people get to solutions faster, that’s it.
The industry is growing rapidly as the categories branch out further and further into hyper-specialized niches. Look out for people’s accreditation, background, why they became a coach, and do your research, as with any industry you will have some phonies out there.
It’s a lawless industry, without regulation
I’ll be honest, I used to think this too until I started my certification process with two of the leading international coaching bodies. I realized that if you want to do it properly, there are rules and regulations and governing bodies, and at least a standardized barrier to entry. The key word there is properly. Like any industry, you will get cheapskates, jokers, and phonies, and unfortunately, since anyone can legally call themselves a coach and start coaching people — the only reference check is that of the prospective client. So unlike Lawyers who are required to hold a certain qualification to call themselves a lawyer, the word ‘coach’ holds no legal attachments.
Anyone can be a coach
Yes, technically anyone can sign up, pay for, and complete a coaching course (given they pass the exam and minimum 100 hours of coaching, including monitored sessions). However, the vast majority of people who complete their coaching certification do not go on to practice as coaches. The reasons for this vary, but I have met my fair share of coaches and do see a commonality in the successful ones. This is also in part what pushed me to get my certification and start coaching. They had a combination of various characteristics that I found within myself. First and foremost, a deep desire and passion for personal transformation and growth. Second, the natural ability to help people through that process. Thirdly, they practised what they preached. I’ve never met an overweight and successful coach, and I’m sure they exist, but I personally would never hire one.
In Conclusion
It’s important to note that modern therapy has had many advancements and findings since its initial establishment in the 1800s, and coaching is a relatively new field which has been part of the psychology revolution or evolution. The statistics around coaching effectiveness are quite remarkable, with people reporting improvements in the following areas; 80% self-confidence, 73% better relationships, 72% communication abilities, 71% interpersonal skills, and 70% productivity at work. I state the timelines of the field’s evolution only to highlight its recency and evidence-based approach.
Like with all fields, there is a natural process of evolution as the research thickens and technology advances. The same way medicine has had many advancements and improvements, psychology is having its moment, and I see the world opening up to new and alternative modalities more and more as the mental health crises increase globally. I say this only to invite awareness and openness to new and different approaches. People love to say “but this is how its been done for so many years”, and that’s just about when I start to get curious…
So If you are debating whether to pick between coaching or therapy, I would ask myself this — what are you looking for? Are you looking to go deeper, go into your past to understand yourself better, make sense of your life, and heal? Or are you looking to take action, work toward a goal, and improve your performance and quality of life?
I myself do both, therapy is for deeper emotional blockages and wounding, and coaching is for my self-development; personal and professional growth.
My personal recommendation (for both therapy and coaching) would be to focus on the person more than anything and be thorough in your research of their credentials, background, client testimonials, and perspectives. Even though the role of both is to be objective and non-judgemental, their life experience and worldviews will have a subtle impact on the work you do together.
That’s why I am focusing on creatives and entrepreneurs, this is my life experience, dedication, and the people who I relate to and understand the most deeply. Can I coach a corporate lawyer? Absolutely. Can I provide as much value to a corporate lawyer as a corporate lawyer turned coach? Absolutely not.
Am I going to leave a link to my coaching website? Absofuckinglutely.
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